Decisions

For all those times in your life when you really wish for something, hope, pray with all your heart that He grants you that one wish, here’s a story worth reading.




She sat in the dark corner, knees folded to her chest. Weeping. Does it always have to be like this? Do I have to be hurt at the end of it? Why can’t there be a happy ending like there is for all my friends? What’s wrong with me? Do I do something wrong? But what? She thought of all the beautiful times they had had. The movies, the walks hand in hand, the stolen kisses. She cried some more.


This time she had had enough. One more heart break. One more finality. Her wish was not to be granted. They say that He does what is best for us. Can so much heart break possibly be good? Cant be.


She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t take it anymore. Is life always full of pain. Pain in love, pain at work, pain at home from seeing the people she loves go through tough times. What could she do? Suicide? Maybe. But how? Pain wasn’t her way. Besides wouldn’t that just cause her family more hurt? She couldn’t hurt them. But she couldn’t bear to live this way either. Option one, suicide. Option two, get a new job, a new love.. not likely….





Analysis: noun,

1.

the separating of any material or abstract entity into its constituent elements ( opposed to synthesis).

2.

this process as a method of studying the nature of something or of determining its essential features and their relations



A word that’s probably the cause for some of the most deranged brains in the world. Is it a liberty to have the time to think? Is it just better to keep busy with work and ride over all problems that way?

Anyway, the story continues: She couldn’t really think, nor figure out what she should do. She loved him but he had behaved badly. And even if she were to blame for any of the accusations he made, she surely wasn’t to blame for them all. Besides, the nature of the accusations was inappropriate. There was something ‘nasty’ about them.


She had borne them for over 4 months now. Aching and crying every time he made the accusations and lost his temper. Feeling hurt yet loving him enough to forgive him time and again.


He called and announced that he would be coming to visit her. He said he loved her n that he was sorry. She forgave him again and once again dreamed of a happy life with him like they had before. They made plans, they were happy. But it happened again. Cold and nasty accusations. She was close to breakdown. But they made up and she forgave his nastiness once again.


The arrival date got closer and a work assignment required a minor change in plans. But she was happy. She was confident that he would understand and also that he would agree to and be happy with the alternate plans which would give them some more alone time.


But she was wrong.


He raved and ranted. She tried repeatedly to explain. But he would not listen. As always, it was only about him. Suicide crossed her mind again. She was tired and wished he would understand.




Understand: –verb

1.
to perceive the meaning of; grasp the idea of; comprehend.





He did not understand. And suddenly, the accusations started again. Dirty and nasty as always.

She couldn’t take it anymore. Just a few days to a special occasion and how could he possibly behave like this? How could he hurt her so much again and again. Even if he had felt hurt by anything she did, it was once. Why hurt her in this way so many times when he knew it cased her pain.

Her family loved her, they understood, they tried at least. Suicide was not an option. She had to go on. Without him. Without the pain he constantly brought her. He had to go. And then, in that instant, she realized that it wasn’t her. It was just as God meant it to be.